A small Christmas tree sits in the corner of the room with its multicolored lights, decorative ornaments, and small children who delight at the sparkle and joy! With the smell of cinnamon and other holiday cheer, you can’t mistake what this family is celebrating: Christmas.
But it’s only November. Under the holiday cheer is a deep sadness and concern. You see my son is leaving tomorrow for his first deployment to Afghanistan. His lovely and dedicated wife rolled all the holidays into a short few days so he wouldn’t miss the little smiles of the children who are too young to wonder why Santa Claus came so early.
The Thanksgiving dinner came a little early too, with all the trimmings! We are not alone. Many of the men and women in my son’s Army unit — as well as across the country — have Christmas trees and other holiday cheer in their own home as they prepare to leave their own families for a year-long tour in Afghanistan.
If you see Christmas cheer a little too early this year at your neighbors home, they may be sending a son or daughter, husband or wife, or friend off to the most dangerous place in the world. Keep them in your prayers.
Today is 5 days to my son’s deployment day. My emotions run wild as I prepare for entry into the unfamiliar world of Mom of a deployed soldier. I don’t know what to expect and maybe I think too much about it.
I trust that my son is a well-trained helicopter pilot who is confident in his mission. But stuff happens doesn’t it? Sending him off to the one of the most dangerous places in the world is beyond what my mind can handle at the moment – but I am trying.
I have concerns.
I want to believe in our great country’s leadership but question whether our President takes his job as a WARTIME President seriously. His actions and priorities over the last few months cause me to question that. Even recently, when President Obama held a press conference about the Fort Hood tragedy, where over a dozen lives were claimed, our President began his remarks with:
“I want to thank my Cabinet members and senior administration officials who participated today. I hear that Dr. Joe Medicine Crow (ph) was around, and so I want to give a shout out to that Congressional Medal of Honor winner. It’s good to see you.”
How inappropriate of President Obama to preface such a grave incident with something so glib. But that’s another story.
Our soldiers are fighting an enemy with radical beliefs and a deep hatred for Americans. The dangers are too much for me to even wrap my mind around for now.
What about my 1 and 3 year old grandchildren? How do you begin to get them to understand that Daddy won’t be home for a year?
No amount of preparation can really prepare a family for deployment. We are all in this together. Soldiers over there supporting each other. Families here support the soldiers and each other. Deployment day is coming. I must “lean into it” with open arms and keep moving forward.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Army Mom Strong (I am getting there).
My heart is heavy as I read messages from Mom’s of deployed soldiers, and I offer support, thoughts, and prayers. I get weepy eyed knowing that in just a few short weeks, that will be me on the other end. I will be the Mom of a deployed soldier, wondering every minute of every day if my boy is safe from the violence that is rampant in a place so far away. These thoughts paralyze me at times and tears flow like a fountain that I can’t turn off.
My son is stationed 2,500 miles away from me and we don’t yet know the exact date of his deployment. My mind endlessly plays out the scenario – what if we don’t get enough notice of his departure and I can’t get there in time to say goodbye and give him a hug that needs to last at least a year – maybe a lifetime? What will happen then?
Thankfully, I visited my son recently and we had such a nice visit. It was great to hang out with him and the family. He is such a good Dad to his young children and seeing them together just melted my heart. He is silly, funny, and smart. He is also knows how to shoot a gun, drop bombs from a helicopter, and fight for our freedom.
I am a proud Mother of a strong, brave soldier. Although he and his fellow service men and women are doing the really hard work, it’s hard for the Moms, spouses, and kids they leave behind.
We all need to support each other so our soldiers can go do their job without worrying about home. We need to look out for one another and catch each other when we fall.
Stay Strong. Army Mom Strong.
We are all in this together.
Communicating with your Military deployed son or daughter will help you stay sane during your child’s deployment and help you to support your soldier!
There are many ways to stay in touch with your deployed son or daughter. Much depends on their deployment location and what is available to them.
If possible, attempt to get information from your child before they deploy so you can be prepared to communicate!
United States Postal Service (USPS):
The easiest way to stay in touch with your deployed loved one is via the United States mail. Be sure you get your child’s Military address – this is an APO AE address. Military APO (Army Post Office) and FPO (Fleet Post Office) service offers mail delivery at hundreds of Military Post Offices overseas.
You can order priority mail boxes and supplies from the United States Postal Service – it’s free! Be sure to get the Priority Mail APO/FPO flat rate box, which features a predetermined rates regardless of weight (domestically) or destination. The cost is $11.95. You can fit a lot in the box!
Be sure to use the proper Customs Form. This is a must! All mail going to Afghanistan and Iraq is x-ray scanned. Keep these rules in mind:
- Letters and cards less than 16 ounces – no form needed
- Packages less than 16 ounces and less than $400 value – Form 2976
- All mail greater than 16 ounces – Form 2976-A with 2976-E mailer envelope
Under-report the value on the Customs Form. To discourage theft. Always check “Gift” on the Customs Form. Potential duty import taxes can be avoided.
Get more information about USPS shipping. (addressing tips, packaging tips, ordering USPS supplies, mailing restrictions).
Email
Your son or daughter may or may not have Internet access while deployed. Again, try to get this information during pre-deployment so you can be prepared. You will need to know your soldier’s email AKO address (Army Knowledge Online – @us.army.mil) or, if they have a personal address you should already have that.
Many soldiers brings their own laptops while deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan. Keep in mind that Internet access, if available, is NOT secure. The cost can be high. My son is deploying to Afghanistan and they will have a whopping Internet bill of $1000 per month! I know, it’s outrageous that our loved ones put their lives on the line and still have to foot the bill to stay in touch!
Instant Messaging
You will need to use the instant messaging feature in AKO, which means you need to have a soldier sponsor you and get a guest account. This is usually reserved for family. Soldiers used to be able to use Yahoo, AOL and MSN IM programs to communicate with families back home but that is being restricted in more locations now due to security concerns.
Phone
There may be DSN (Defense Switched Network) phone centers and AT&T phone tents located at U.S. bases in Iraq and Afghanistan. Your soldier may be allowed free 15-minute “morale calls” to call family back home. You can also help your Soldiers by providing low-cost prepaid phone calling cards to call back home.
Your soldiers may also be allowed to use a personal GSM cell phone or satellite phone to call you! The cell phone charges can be very expensive. If this is the case, have your soldier call you and then you can use a cheap international prepaid phone card to call your child back on the cell. Often there is no charge for incoming calls if using a local cell carrier such as IraqNA.
Webcam & Video Instant Messaging
Soldiers used to be able to use Yahoo, AOL and MSN IM programs to setup video chat sessions with webcams on either end to communicate with families back home but that is being restricted in more locations now due to security concerns. Check with your child to see if they are able to use such services. Many Army Moms I spoke with chat frequently with their sons and daughters via instant messenger.
How do you communicate with your deployed son or daughter? We welcome all advice on the topic 
So much is going on before your soldier’s deployment, including the stress of knowing that your son or daughter will be leaving soon. During predeployment, you try your best to prepare for what may be the most stressful time of your life.
This can be a frightening time for a Mom of a soldier about to be deployed. You don’t know what to expect except that your child is going to a dangerous place to fight for our freedom.
While our soldiers are preparing for their upcoming mission, we anticipate the worst and hope for the best. We get teary eyed at the mention of Army deployment while we learn how to cope as they prepare to leave for a danger zone 6,000 miles from home.
The reality set in for me as my son and his family went through their checklist of tasks to be completed before deployment, making it all that much more real. Everything from power of attorney and wills, to handling finances, Red Cross notifications, and how to stay in touch while deployed.
How do I cope? Sometimes I don’t do it well. The rest of the time, I talk frequently and openly with my daughter-in-law about deployment, reach out and connect with other Army Moms (we are all in this together), and stay busy. I talk to my soldier son about how we will stay in touch and make plans for the care packages I will send to him.
I started this Web site, Army Mom Strong as another way to communicate with other Moms of soldiers and share what I have learned so far. I hope you will share too.
Stay Strong. Army Mom Strong.
UPDATE: my son deployed to Afghanistan on Nov. 13, 2009.
